The Fuhrer ([info]raven_v1) wrote,
  • Mood: stressed
  • Music: Johnny Cash - Hurt

Just Look In My Eyes, And You'll See Its All Gone Wrong...

You ever think you are doing well before one thing fucks up, and it causes a domino affect?
Well i just had that since Thursday.
I cant even get drunk on then go on the net and people dont even believe that im drunk? When did the honest person you quite possibly know, the person who says his mind, become an image of a liar and a deciever? When did people think i might be a serial killer?

When did this downward spiral actually start? When did i become this sad piece of work who tells his woe to the unremorsefull internet world?
And i dont really know.
I dont know why i do this.
I dont know why i keep on living.
A friend once told me im strong to take what happends to me and keep on getting up and trying again.
But is that what am i doing. Or am i walking into train after train on purpose so i will eventually end it all.
What am i actually doing? Am i strong to be still alive or am i being weak because i dont actually recover from anything?

Endless war wounds, the only thing other people see in them is the fact you have alot of baggage for such a young age. And there it is.
The kick of the nuts bringing me back to reality.

I hurt myself today to see if I still feel I focus on the pain the only thing that's real the needle tears a hole the old familiar sting try to kill it all away but I remember everything
what have I become? my sweetest friend everyone I know goes away in the end
and you could have it all my empire of dirt

I will let you down I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns upon my liar's chair full of broken thoughts I cannot repair beneath the stains of time the feelings disappear you are someone else I am still right here

what have I become? my sweetest friend everyone I know goes away in the end and you could have it all my empire of dirt

I will let you down I will make you hurt

if I could start again a million miles away I would keep myself I would find a way

I cant even go an hour without living in regret, when the fuck did that happen?
I See Right Through You Soul Cant Help But Feel This Cold.



Cant be the only one

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  • 22 comments

[info]mataeka

July 24 2005, 07:06:42 UTC 6 years ago

Power to the Johnny Cash version of hurt ... \m/

It's sad :(

*huggles* ... I didn't even have a clue you were drunk so I wasn't saying you weren't - just commenting on the humourous non-drunk but pretending to be drunk guy *nods* ... it was almost as good as Santa who lost his pants right in front of us ... ... ... yes ... I learnt some things about the world yesterday that I think people my age should still be ignorant too ... *nods* ... :D

[info]raven_v1

July 24 2005, 10:44:36 UTC 6 years ago

http://p084.ezboard.com/fthemachineheadforumfrm1.showMessage?topicID=61107.topic
You are not the only one to think that.

[info]mataeka

July 25 2005, 02:20:50 UTC 6 years ago

as I said - I didn't even know you were drunk ... o.O

I WAS TALKING ABOUT THE GUY PRENTENDING TO BE DRUNK AT THE DINNER I WENT OUT TO - HE WAS AN ACTOR ... PRETENDING TO BE DRUNK.

* ... and so far there not saying your not drunk ...

[info]raven_v1

July 25 2005, 03:05:24 UTC 6 years ago

Yeah, i get ya, but i was just saying that when i thought you were saying i wasnt drink, you werenot the only one.

[info]gnarly_station

July 25 2005, 07:46:33 UTC 6 years ago

Todd...

I once gave you advice about drinking...

it was called "DONT GO NEAR THE INTERNET". Now you see how much trouble being drunk and logging on causes...

I condone drinking, but in small amounts.

Mainly because ive just finished reading "french women dont get fat" and have now taken to drinking nothing but champagne and chardonnay.

by the bottle of course ;).

Im just trying to cheer you up.

[info]raven_v1

July 25 2005, 08:25:44 UTC 6 years ago

Yeah well, i think i learned my lesson.
I think i learned alot over this last week.*nods*

[info]mataeka

July 25 2005, 10:19:02 UTC 6 years ago

*shrugs* fair nuff - I get that ... *nods* ... nah I believe you were drunk and that forum was lame - they thought you weren't drunk because you could type normally ... speaking of which *gets a smirnoff black from my stash*

[info]raven_v1

July 25 2005, 10:23:27 UTC 6 years ago

hahaha it was weird, the less and less fun i was having i was making less and less fuckups.

[info]mataeka

July 25 2005, 10:34:32 UTC 6 years ago

lol - thats so true ... :)

it tends to sober you up :(

[info]raven_v1

July 25 2005, 10:54:33 UTC 6 years ago

Indeed.
But yeah. I leanred my lesson.

[info]mataeka

July 25 2005, 11:05:29 UTC 6 years ago

*huggles* good boy :)

[info]raven_v1

July 25 2005, 11:25:13 UTC 6 years ago

I got a hug :p

[info]mataeka

July 26 2005, 07:09:50 UTC 6 years ago

oy ... hands off :P

[info]raven_v1

July 26 2005, 11:15:30 UTC 6 years ago

tee hee

[info]gnarly_station

July 25 2005, 11:20:49 UTC 6 years ago

BulbaSAUUURRR/

THUNDER THUNDER THUNDER THUNDER CAAATSSS

MR BOGUSSSSS...has come out to ... MR BOGUSSS.

he was a piece of snot.

I worry about my childhood upbringing.

*fetches her cat puppet* ITS FISTING

[info]raven_v1

July 25 2005, 11:24:39 UTC 6 years ago

What the fuck?
You are wasted!
Are you gonna unblock me and re-add me on your friends list or what?

Anonymous

July 25 2005, 23:33:40 UTC 6 years ago

i think you should drink yourself into a coma

[info]raven_v1

July 26 2005, 02:13:07 UTC 6 years ago

You know how much vodka that would take? im open for it.

[info]gnarly_station

July 26 2005, 11:26:20 UTC 6 years ago

I wasnt wasted.

I was on somethign completely different.

I have unblocked you! My msns screwed though - I gotta get rid of the viruses on my computer.

[info]raven_v1

July 26 2005, 12:04:28 UTC 6 years ago

How about re adding me on you LJ list?

[info]gnarly_station

July 28 2005, 10:20:22 UTC 6 years ago

Ellie no longer runs her LJ.

I do.

[info]raven_v1

July 28 2005, 14:35:22 UTC 6 years ago

and you are?
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